I Want You To Hate Me
by kimanioverthinks
Summary: Feel that Shane? I hate you. And I want you to hate me. Because it makes it so much harder to love you when I hate you.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Tess Tyler or Shane Gray.**

**This came to me while reading a wonderful Twilight story called Knox. ****It's very OOC and A/U, but I like the idea and I hope you do too. It's from Tess's P.O.V.**

-

"Please welcome to the stage, Megan Tyler!" the host yelled over the crowd of deafening fans. I stepped onto the stage and gave a slight nod to my band mates, before giving a quick, slightly cheerful welcome to the fans.

"The first song is one I wrote before I was famous and I still remember. Here's throwing punches."

_There's an empty room  
At the end of the hall  
And it's begging to  
Swallow you whole_

I looked out into the sea of fans and smiled briefly. All my smiles were brief now. I wasn't the same Tess Tyler. I sure was rich and self-centered and cold and heartless, but now it was different. I didn't get along well with people, and they found it suitable to suggest I visit rehab and all that rubbish. _Because everyone knows that rehab can mend a broken heart._

_Each step you take  
Makes it easier to  
Fall on your face  
Each tear you fake  
Makes it easier to  
See straight through you, now_

I did a double take at a familiar face. _The same face that haunted my least pleasant nightmares_. It was always the same nightmare. Running, running away from the nothingness; that's what I was doing in that nightmare. Then the nothingness ended and it was that same perfect face with the blank brown eyes saying, "I don't want you, Tess. I have Mitchie now," in that same perfect voice with the same amount of expression (none). And I wish I could grab his perfectly styled brown hair in my perfectly manicured hands and rip it out of his skull. _I wanted to cause him pain, pain like he caused me._

_And you're so hateful sometimes  
Throwing punches at lies  
Far from somewhere above  
Just to say you're in love_

Shane Gray. He was in the crowd staring at me, his eyes boring into my head, with his arm around his girlfriend, Mitchie Torres, with her innocent eyes and pink lips. I glared at him with every ounce of my being and his pity-filled glance turned sour. I smiled. _Feel that Shane? I hate you. And I want you to hate me. __**Because it makes it so much harder to love you when I hate you.**_

_So you hang yourself  
From stolen dreams  
And under the table, you hide  
Every stain_

I want him to know what he did to me. He killed me. Tess Katie Tyler didn't exist anymore with her smiling face and perky attitude, because she had the perfect life and the perfect boyfriend. In her place was Megan Jett Tyler, with the scars on her wrists and the ironic smirk marring her pretty features. The black hair hanging limply to her mid-back and the brown contacts replaced the baby-blue eyes and blonde hair. _Do you know this person, Shane? Do you know me? I'm sure you remember. __**Because I do.**_ I remember every promise, every kiss and every touch.

_Each step you take  
(Getting closer)  
Makes it easier to  
Fall on your face  
Each death you fake  
(Getting closer)  
Makes it easier to  
Live this way  
Hey, now_

You told me that you loved me, and you'd do anything for me. And I told you right back. And we promised that we'd love each other for _eternity_, Shane. Do you know how long that is? Are you aware that you belong to me?! Did you keep your promise? Because I did. I just wanted to tell you that. I kept my promise, and I still belong to you, nothing changes. (Even though that makes no sense because everything has.)

_Watch it disappear  
The dream you hold so dear  
Let it fade  
(Let it fade)  
Let it fade  
(Let it fade)  
Let it fade  
(Let it fade)  
Now_

"That song is dedicated to Shane Gray from Tess Tyler. Because I want you to hate me. Please, please, please hate me," I whispered, pleading not to fall apart now. They'd put me in rehab for sure, and there'd be no getting out. I ran a pale hand through my black hair and let a tear escape my closed eyes. _Swim. Swim. Swim. Don't drown. Please don't drown. Swim. Swim. Swim, Tess, please swim._

"Please, just hate me. It's all I ask, Shane. I know you can hear me. I know you remember me. Please hate me."

_Let it fade  
(Let it fade)  
Now  
Just to say you're in love_

-

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